The kids started mid-terms a couple days ago. Today, I was in charge of signing papers and making sure that students weren't cheating. And the students I was in charge of were boys ages 6th to 10th grade. I started out kind of laughing to myself because I'm doing a terrible job of being like the other teachers. I walk around and can't help smile at the kids. I know I'm not intimidating in the least, and they know it, too. So I might as well just be fun and nice. Plus, the principal was very close by, so I knew the students wouldn't act up. She scares me, so I can't imagine the fear she puts in them. Today I scalded my tongue drinking tea because one of the ladies told me to go drink some, so I went to another room for a minute and left the students. But then I got nervous to leave the students in case the principal saw I wasn't doing my job, so I chugged it in order to get back to the kids.
As I processed all of this, I came to the conclusion that as a principal you kind of have to be scary. 800 kids can get really out of hand. I feel like pinching them over making a written mistake is a little much, but having to be tough makes sense. That is precisely why I have no intentions of ever being a school administrator.
However, by the end of the day, I had even more of a change of heart concerning disciplining these kids. I had the 1st graders for a period. How bad can it be? Thirty 6-year-olds for less than an hour. Oh, it was bad. The boys were absolutely out of control. I know good and well that kids push the limits to see what kind of boundaries you're gonna set. The issue I realized is me being stern with my voice did NOTHING. Part of that is probably because they don't understand me, haha, but part of that is they're used to physical discipline. One boy even taunted me to pinch him! I was starring at them, having no clue what to do. They were wrestling and hurting each other. I grabbed a few by the arm and told them to sit. That didn't last long. So, I resorted to the stick! I'm still shocked. I had to get it. There was no other option. I smacked the table a few times, but they still knew I wouldn't hit them. Or would I? I was having such inner turmoil!
I took a breathe, said a prayer, and whacked a couple of them. Well, more like tapped them; they probably hardly felt it because I really couldn't bring myself to put any force behind it. It did make them take me a little more seriously anyway. I was so relieved when the bell rang! These cultural differences are killing me.
In regards to my blog "24 Hours" which was about discipline, I've had some other thoughts. I've been wanting to write a second part to the blog, so consider this "Part B."
Here's the question in my mind: When we suffer, is God disciplining us because we did something wrong? Now, I clearly am not trying to be an apostolic authority on the matter or anything. This is my disclaimer that all of these are just my musings, not direct quotes from Jesus. (Well, the Biblical portions are for sure His).
When I was struggling last week, I said to God, "What did I do wrong? I don't understand why I'm being punished." In the long run, I think that's the wrong attitude. At the time it really helped to say that to Him, and I don't think He minded it, but regardless its bad theology. I felt like God was treating me like one of the students getting smacked with a book because I talked or cheated in class.
1 Peter 2:24, "He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed." Jesus took our punishment for sin, so that we can be righteous. That's grace. So if we're under grace, then God has no reason to "punish" us because Jesus took our punishment. So there's no punishment for us for our sin if we've accepted Jesus' grace.
Why the discipline then?
We need to become mature. James 1:2-4, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." Even though we're forgiven for our sins, we still commit them, and God is looking to make us like Him, holy and perfect. Sometimes going through a difficult situation is the only way to get our attention. God is not "punishing" us in order to take away the mark of our sins. Jesus did that for us. But maybe God is attempting to redirect our behavior. God's discipline and punishment are two different things.
This part blows my mind. Hebrews 5:8 says, talking about Jesus, "Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him." Jesus learned obedience? He was made perfect through suffering? Verse 15 of the same chapter says He "was without sin." I don't fully understand this, but I do realize that if Jesus had to suffer to learn obedience and be made perfect, even though He didn't ever commit a sin, then I for sure need to suffer in order to be made perfect and learn obedience. I'm not being punished for anything I did. But I sure am being made into the image of God.
If all God did was wipe out the stain of our sins and leave us for the rest of our lives, I'm positive that we would become thirty 6-year-old Indians in a classroom, beating each other up and not listening to their substitute. And I know from experience, sometimes a stick is the only option.
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