Sacrifice

I'm sitting in Pastor Banuel's office today and nearly burst into tears; I did actually cry, but just didn't "burst." There's a difference. :)
It was my first day at the school. The children are so beautiful and wonderful. I got a lot of high-pitched "hellos," as well as intrigued looks at the blonde, white lady visiting their classroom. I know I'm going to have some great moments with them over the next few months.
Besides working with the kiddos, I'll be helping the women in the school office. I'm really grateful for my mad typing skills because they have tons of hand-written tests that need to be typed and printed. English being my first language just makes it way easier for me to knock it out than for them to do it. The issue is their computer and printer are way outdated. I mean, I've never actually seen a printer like this. It's pretty similar to a typewriter. You feed the paper manually and the cartridge moves back and forth across the page. I found myself histerically laughing to keep from being too annoyed at the inconvenience. And I think that's really my point here. Inconvenience. I ended up tearing up talking to Pastor Banuel in his office while eating my lunch, which consisted of fried rice, chicken and a boiled egg. I want so badly to just go to Kroger and buy groceries so I can cook whatever I want. I want to punch "print" and know the copier will do its job. I want to not have to be concerned about the lizard I just saw crawling across the wall. I want to know the power won't go out every day for hours at a time. haha. I'm ridiculous. This place will weed selfishness right out of you if you're American.
What I've been processing today is the idea of suffering. I read a quote from Elisabeth Elliot today:
"What kind of a God is it who asks everything of us? The same God who '...did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all; and with this gift how can he fail to lavish upon us all he has to give?' He gives all. He asks all."
So God gives all and asks us to do the same. And at first glance I would think I've given Him a lot in coming here. But then I really think about the fact that I'm sleeping in a bed with covers, staying in a house with a kitchen, washer, and a shower with potential for hot water (its just not currently working). And there are billions of people, including people on my same street here who don't have running water. People are starving to death and I'm struggling because of the spice in my rice.
I read today in Matthew how at the end of Jesus' life His followers deserted Him, and then, on the cross His Father forsook Him. And I was reminded of one of Lecrae's lines:
"How dare I compare my pain?
Your Father turned His back
And You were left to hang"
Lecrae makes a good point. Could I ever go through anything compared to what Jesus suffered? Could I ever begin to give Him enough of myself to remotely match what He gave? But what I really appreciate about my God is He does see these things I'm giving up for His Kingdom as a sacrifice. Even when things do seem remote compared to Christ's sacrifice, I'm grateful that God still accepts and rejoices over what I bring Him.
Is eating foreign food a sacrifice? Is feeling lonely and really wishing I had a husband to do this adventure with really a sacrifice? Is giving up the comfort and leisure of the U.S. possibly a sacrifice? "You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it, you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." (Psalm 51:16-17). Seems like David realized its not about what you bring to God necessarily, but its how your heart is in the matter. If learning patience over a printer in an Indian school cuases my heart to be broken before my God, then I think that's exactly the sacrifice He wants.