Not My Home

A couple of nights ago I kept hearing men singing and a drum pounding. At first I just assumed it was coming from a temple, then I realized it wasn't the typical music I hear most mornings and nights. I walked out on my balcony and looked down the street just in time to see a group of Indians rounding the corner and stopping at a house. It reminded me of Christmas caroling, only with a drum and I doubt that they were singing about Christ's birth. Regardless of their purpose, it was the first night that I walked out on my balcony. The first time I think I've really stopped to just enjoy India.

I came to the realization yesterday, really via a conversation with my brother, that I have to embrace this culture. I have not done that. I've had a lot of pre-conceived ideas of what I thought this would be like, mixed with my own American cultural perspectives. I'm having to let go of how I thought Indians live and start with an empty slate. I'm coming now with no expectations and embracing what I observe and learn right now about them. I'm also having to let go of my own culture. I'm very task oriented; this culture is definitely not task oriented. And I thought I understood that, but I think its been very hard for me to embrace. So I'm learning to embrace how they live and letting go of how I've lived for the past 27 years. Its incredible how much that is allowing me to finally be "all here", instead of counting down the days I have to "endure" this. I'm also realizing that I had this deep fear of fully embracing the Indian way of life because that means giving up my American way of life. I'm afraid to not be "relevant" when I go home if I change too much here. I shared that fear with my brother. He has a way of telling you what you need to hear, not want you want to hear and doing it in a very direct way. I'm so grateful for that! He flat out told me that I am ultimately not an American, but a Christian. I'm living life with Indians right now. My Christian community is Indian believers, not American. Jonathan saying those words knocked me out of this funk I've been in. Since when did I start basing how I live on my culture anyway?! I base my life on the Bible! And some things about my American culture that I want to hold onto probably don't line up with Scripture, so I need to change. And the parts about Indian culture that don't line up with Scripture are things I shouldn't embrace. I still want to be "in the world," therefore be a part of whatever world is around me, whether that's an Indian or American world. But I can't be "of the world." So on some level I should stand out no matter what culture I'm in. I'm just praying for wisdom on what to embrace and what not to embrace. Regardless of what things change about me, I cannot let my American heritage determine any change. Because ultimately I'm not an American (or an Indian for that matter). I'm a follower of Jesus, and this earth is not my home.

"All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers of earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country-a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them." Hebrews 11:13-16