I haven't posted in a while...the reason being I'm now back in America. I've wrestled with what to write as a final post; I've had a billion things I've been processing. But I finally settled on one.
Grace.
I've always viewed grace basically as God taking away our sin, forgiving us for things we absolutely do not deserve forgiveness for. That is largely what grace is. So my view has been correct. However, I'm learning that my view is broadening.
My nephew was admitted to the ER when he was six days old. My entire family was freaking out. When I heard about it, I immediately changed my flight from May to February. I was leaving only halfway into the trip. And that made me freak out just as much as knowing my nephew could potentially have a fatal disease. I was so afraid to disobey or disappoint God if He wanted me to stay. I knew grace covered my sin. But grace to make a "mistake" and my life not be ruined? For some reason I've gone 27 years and never learned that lesson from God.
I've always worked really hard to not make mistakes, to do what He tells me to do. The thought of possibly not staying if I was supposed to made me crazy.
So I got on the plane, talking to God the whole time about how I didn't know if it was the right decision to make.
God talked back. He taught me grace. I was free to leave; I was free to stay. He loves me the same. He'll work His plan and will the same. I wasn't catching Him off guard by the decision. I didn't cause Him to suddenly have to alter His plans for the people of India or for my future because I didn't stay. He'll accomplish His purpose regardless.
I've never quite experienced this freedom, this grace. Grace is favor from God, undeserved favor. As His child I can't lose that favor, nor can I earn it. Its a gift. Its undeserved. Its free. Its amazing.
