Amazing Grace

I haven't posted in a while...the reason being I'm now back in America. I've wrestled with what to write as a final post; I've had a billion things I've been processing. But I finally settled on one.
Grace.
I've always viewed grace basically as God taking away our sin, forgiving us for things we absolutely do not deserve forgiveness for. That is largely what grace is. So my view has been correct. However, I'm learning that my view is broadening.
My nephew was admitted to the ER when he was six days old. My entire family was freaking out. When I heard about it, I immediately changed my flight from May to February. I was leaving only halfway into the trip. And that made me freak out just as much as knowing my nephew could potentially have a fatal disease. I was so afraid to disobey or disappoint God if He wanted me to stay. I knew grace covered my sin. But grace to make a "mistake" and my life not be ruined? For some reason I've gone 27 years and never learned that lesson from God.
I've always worked really hard to not make mistakes, to do what He tells me to do. The thought of possibly not staying if I was supposed to made me crazy.
So I got on the plane, talking to God the whole time about how I didn't know if it was the right decision to make.
God talked back. He taught me grace. I was free to leave; I was free to stay. He loves me the same. He'll work His plan and will the same. I wasn't catching Him off guard by the decision. I didn't cause Him to suddenly have to alter His plans for the people of India or for my future because I didn't stay. He'll accomplish His purpose regardless.
I've never quite experienced this freedom, this grace. Grace is favor from God, undeserved favor. As His child I can't lose that favor, nor can I earn it. Its a gift. Its undeserved. Its free. Its amazing.

The Battle of Religions

There were two very interesting events that happened yesterday.
The first is going to a new church plant. We took a rough four hour voyage to a poor village area. The church consisted of around 25 people or so, all sitting on the concrete floor in one small room that is part of someone's house. Several women got up and shared their story of converting from Hinduism to Christianity. Clasping a Bible and with tears of gratitude, they talked of how Jesus had changed their lives.
On the way home we passed a caravan of around 250 cars and buses full of people going to the Southern tip of India for a Hindu rally. The 250 vehicles were from our area of India alone, not to mention the other parts of the state. So all-together there were thousands of people attending this event. Pastor Banuel said that not only do they celebrate their gods during this rally, but they do chants that put down Jesus and Allah. Clearly a lot of Christians and Muslims do not appreciate this, and lots of fights ensue.
It seems like religion around here often becomes a battle of, "My God (god) is better than yours." And like I said, a lot of Christians jump in this battle also.
As I was sitting in the car thinking about the arguing and fighting between the different religious groups, I couldn't help but think about the women I had seen that morning.
Tears streaming down their faces, speaking of the hope they found in Jesus, a hope they did not find in Hinduism. Thousands of Hindus can rally and speak against Him. But in the long run, the sincere testimony of a poverty-stricken lady in South India is argument enough. Jesus changes lives. He's the hope of the world. And that hope needs to be shared, not battled over.

Blue Devils, Dr. Suess, and A Baby

Sometimes I get sad over silly little things that I'm "giving up" by being here. Apparently I missed a historical basketball game between Duke and UNC yesterday. Duke came out on top by a buzzard beater, so at least I have that to be happy about. Go Blue Devils. :)
Or I noticed that they made a movie about Dr. Suess' "The Lorax" which comes out in March. That's hands down my favorite Dr. Suess story.
And then there's things that actually are important, like my sister having a baby! That really is an epic event to miss. Its one thing to not see a basketball game that I probably wouldn't even think about the next day, but to miss seeing my nephew, that's a different story.
Is this worth it? Not getting to see Tristan until he's 3 months old has caused me to really think about that question. And I've come to a conclusion...
The past couple of days in school I've been sharing the gospel in classrooms. I cut out construction paper in different shapes to represent salvation. Kind of a version of the color method where you use colored beads on a bracelet. Anyway, its been really exciting. A few of the kids are Hindu, the majority are Christian, but even then I don't know that they have all actually heard the gospel. You know, sometimes people just assume that because a kid's family is Christian that they understand what Jesus did and are walking with Him.
I don't know if any will start following Jesus because of me showing them that a black heart can turn into a white heart because of Jesus. But I sincerely do believe that I'm in India because God sent me here. And He wants to draw children and adults alike to Himself. I pray He's doing that while I'm here.
So because I'm walking in obedience to my God and because I'm having the chance to share a message with Indians that can change their lives for eternity, its a crazy thing to actually say, but I'll give up anything to do it. Of course I'll give up a movie about Tuffula Trees and Thneads, but I'm serious enough about following Jesus that I'll give up not seeing Tristan. (But man am I going to make up for it when I get home. He's gonna be sick of me probably. haha).
Luke 14:25-27, "Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple." There's a cost to follow Him. And yes, this is worth it.

Wedding

I just really need to share some pictures from Allen and Gypsa's wedding. I'm telling you, it was unbelievable.

Allen's side met at the Banuel's house; then, we caravaned to the auditorium for the ceremony. There was a long procession of vehicles, especially several buses full of people.

Gispa had on a total of 3 pounds of gold. We did the math and figured it was worth $40,000! I couldn't afford an Indian wedding.

At the reception, the couple sat on thrones and people would come to give them gifts and greet them. There was a videographer and photographer who would then capture the moment with each person who came.

This picture makes me laugh. Reason number one: Indians rarely smile in pictures, so I was trying to be like them. haha. Number two: I had to go to my friend Santhi's house to have her help me put on my dress. Its way complicated to wear a Sari. And reason number three that this is funny: I look like an amazon woman.

One of several meals I ate during the 3-day celebration. Served on banana leaves, eaten with your hands, and delish. :) They estimated that around 10,000 people ate total. That is correct. 10,000! They all come and go for three days, so there's just always a steady stream of people.

Several pastors from the U.S. came to conduct the ceremony, meaning the messages were in English. I could understand! (And btw one of the pastor's is around 6'9". I thought I look tall here. haha. It was so entertaining to see people's reactions when they saw him.)

Feeling Full

I feel so full. (I'm refering to emotionally, but after I wrote that sentence I realized that physically applies also. haha) Allen and Gipsa's wedding was Monday morning. It was so amazing. I don't even know how to describe all of it. The best word I have is extravagant. Anyway, we did eat non-stop for days, which is why I can say I'm physically full. But even beyond that, I feel like I have a hope and vision for this trip that I've been trying to grasp since I've been here. One of the pastor's visiting here from the U.S. was asking me about my time here. Somehow we got on that I'd love to do a Bible study with some of the women, but the language barrier is such a wall. They don't know English well enough nor do I know a woman who can translate. He suggested Gipsa.
I met her three times before the wedding. (Ironic because Allen only met her once for like 2 minutes! He was asking me one day how tall she was. Blows my mind.) We have never had a deep conversation or anything, but she's one of those people that I feel a deep connection with right off the bat. And honestly I haven't connected like that very much since being here. I've been excited about her moving into the Banuel's house.
All of that to say the idea of leading a Bible study with her makes so much sense and is really exciting to me. I've been dying to do something like that, and she can help me do it (She's an English Lit. major. woohoo!). Plus, her new husband will eventually take over his dad's ministry, which she will also be a large part of. I don't imagine that she's done anything like lead a women's Bible study before, so maybe this is an opportunity for me to show her how. Like I said, I'm so grateful to feel like maybe I'm seeing a glimpse into God's purpose in having me here. I'm certainly going to be praying about it all.

Difficult Language

I have come to the conclusion that next to Adam and Eve's original sin, the worst thing to ever happen in history is the Tower of Babel. Why in the world do we have to speak different languages?!

There are several Americans visiting this week for Allen's wedding on Monday. One of them told me today that he read that Tamil is one of the most difficult languages in the world to learn. O great. I would pick the one state in India that speaks Tamil.

I've made some progress with the language. My friend Santhi in the school office told me I've learned much more than any other American who's helped at the school. So that's encouraging. But I still really only know a few basics. I can by no means carry on a conversation. I tried to learn a new Tamil song today and found myself constantly tongue-tied.

Just as a fun fact: Tamil consists of over 200 written characters. I can't even speak it, much less write it!

Anyway, as frustrating as it can be (I have so many times when I'm like, "I really wish I could talk to you!"), it has been an area where I've really had to rely on the Lord. I'm having to be extra creative and intentional with my actions. In the long run its probably making me an even better communicator because I have to think so hard about what I'm saying, even in English because of accents and word usage.

Oh, the best part though is sometimes people who know I can't speak Tamil talk to me like I'm deaf. They just make motions to me and move their mouths. That always makes me laugh. So there's always an entertaining side to every frustrating situation. :)

Children's Home Adventure

I just got back from spending a couple of days at the children's home. It was probably the most adventurous experience I've had since I've been here. I feel the need to just share a few scenes that occurred:

*I'm wearing an Indian dress, sitting in the dirt, flies swarming my feet, and I'm painting little girls' toenails.

*I open the bedroom door to see a mouse scurry across the floor. I think I've mentioned before that I have no fear as long as its a rodent and not a giant arachnid. So that's a plus.

*The next night there's a massive roach on the bathroom wall. The bathroom, by the way, consists of a squatty-potty, a faucet, and a bucket.

*The same night I walk in the room and have the thought, "I hope that mouse wouldn't get in my unzipped suitcase." Well, I'm prophetic. I opened it and calmly said, "Oh, yep, there he is..." as he hurriedly ran away.

*I couldn't brush my teeth after that because the mouse pooped on my toothbrush that was inside my suitcase.

*I go out to eat with the family who oversee the children's home. They're hands down my favorite family that I've met. Love them! On the way home we stop at a supermarket. The daughter is looking at perfume, which I comment on. This causes them to insist I pick one out for them to buy me. I don't really even wear perfume much, but I guess I'll start.

Sometimes I think, "Is the real life? Is this actually happening right now?" Sometimes I laugh hysterically. Sometimes I'm annoyed. Sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I love it. Sometimes I think, "What is this doing for God's Kingdom?" All the time I can't help but believe that God really does have a reason for it all. That's often the only thing that pushes me forward. Hope is a great thing.